Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So much rum. So many feels.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
