butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
