you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
