Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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