In the future we'll all be gay
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
