So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize