Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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