its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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