I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just want to make out with him forever
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize