I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I want a musical about memes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
