ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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