You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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