wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
