how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize