WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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