I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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