I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize