My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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