she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
