every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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