two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
