Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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