I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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