honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
