I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
