grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
