The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
