i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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