Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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