Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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