I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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