Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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