end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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