how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
