I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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