Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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