Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
