when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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