do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
