we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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