Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
