I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
