Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
