but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
