you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
