Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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