remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
