I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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