shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
