It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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