i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
