is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
