I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Drake has all the answers
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
