Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The ass gains better be worth it
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