I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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