her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize