I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I can't turn off my feet"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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