I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
