help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize