what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
