Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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