# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
