Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
