No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
