I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
