im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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