I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
