The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
