Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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