yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize