Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
