in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
