We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
