The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
